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As a psychology and counseling major, I’ve heard the term “self-esteem” quite a bit.It’s thrown around frequently, and while there is truth to it, I like the term “self-worth” a whole lot better. When we don’t feel good about ourselves, it is more of a issue than one of esteem for ourselves.It can be covered, dyed, washed, and cleaned, but it will always still be there. It will steal from the intimacy that a married couple has the opportunity to be blessed with. Jesus is pretty clear, and you know He already knew about the sin of pornography before it ever came into existence (though I suspect they already had forms of it during this time period). These are just five ways that porn will hurt your marriage and unfortunately, there are hundreds more. Her goal is to reach out to as many married couples as she can in order to restore marriages and allow God to work through her writing. Porn will take sex that a married couple has and completely strip away all holiness and intimacy that it once had. He knew the easy accessibility that the Internet would someday bring. In my own experience, and in talking to numerous other wives who have been through this, the question rolling through our minds is “Am I not good enough?” If we know our husbands are looking at other women, it must mean that they don’t think we are enough for them.
Without knowledge of how you were designed (in God’s image) and without living in light of that knowledge, a marriage will suffer. It’s that nasty grass stain that will never come out of a white t-shirt. Matthew says, “But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” No arguing with that one. Erin holds a Bachelor’s degree in Psychology and a Master’s degree in Counseling.
I might think I am not pretty enough, not sexy enough, or not worthy of love and affection. While pornography will always be a struggle and temptation that we will seek to conquer, He has blessed us with an incredible marriage despite the evil that has threatened our relationship.
While the struggle with porn is far greater than what the wife may think, the issue of self-worth is still there. He has healed us from comparing or being fearful of comparison.
For example: if you have had a sexual partner apart from your spouse, possibly even years before you were married, could sex with your spouse bring that previous relationship back to your mind? No matter how hard we can try to forget the past, it becomes a part of who we are. We can change, we can move forward as a new person. Does he not notice that his wife may not have the same computer-generated flawless features?
It becomes an ingrained memory that cannot easily be pushed aside. And what about the video he watched of two people having sex?